i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
