I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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