Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
