I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
