my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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