He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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