I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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