If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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