there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
