Jerry, you need to find god
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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