Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
