He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I touched a dick in church today
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
