Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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