I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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