he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
