I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize