Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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