your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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