Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
