I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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