I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize