"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
