So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
