just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
