ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
