Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
