Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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