I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
