Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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