You're so nebulous sometimes
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She told me I should be a condom model.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
