her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
