I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
