is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
