It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
