i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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