dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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