absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
