Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
