i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
