I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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