It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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