I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
