id be glad to
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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