Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
