bring money and cleavage
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
