Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
