I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize