He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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