I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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