i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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