We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
