Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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