let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
