he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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