So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
