need another drink. this is the easiest way
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
