...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish I only lived at night.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
