I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
