so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
