Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
