hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
