Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
