I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
